The excitement that peaked with acceptance letters in the spring may have turned into a hard knot in the stomach by now. Today’s college experience is different than it was a generation ago, and so are today’s parents and students. The following titles are filled with good advice from experts who suggest how you can loosen your parental grip and let your freshman grow and go.

You’re On Your Own but I’m Here If You Need Me, Mentor Your Child  
During the College Years by Marjorie Savage (Fireside, 2003).
“Every year as a new group of high school graduates and their parents watch the calendar pages turn toward September, emotions begin to churn.” Sounds familiar to anyone getting ready to send her first child off to college. This book, written by the director of the University of Minnesota Parent Program, is a life raft in a sea of confusion. The book is for parents, but Savage also includes a list of tips for students at the end of each chapter. Chapters are filled with anecdotes, suggestions, strategies, and common sense, covering issues like coping with the emotional roller coaster of move-in day, money, responsible drinking, and all-nighters. Savage doesn’t shy away from suggesting when parents should get involved or when they should wait it out. Finally, she leads parents toward a new role—that of mentor and loving advisor.

Don’t Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money: The Essential Parenting Guide to the College Years by Helen E. Johnson and Christine Schelhas-Miller (Golden Guides from St. Martin’s Press, 2000).
To parent a college student, you often provide them emotional and financial support on one hand while pushing them toward independence with the other. It’s a balancing act worthy of a circus performer. The authors of this guide offer a safety net via practical, encouraging advice. The writing is candid, so be prepared for sections about subjects like drug and alcohol use, birth control, credit card spending, eating disorders, and date rape. Both authors have years of professional experience as college counselors and student advisors at Cornell University. Their expertise and ease with the information is obvious and the addition of humor and realistic dialogue makes this book a must read for parents.

In Addition to Tuition: The Parents’ Survival Guide to Freshman Year of College by Marian Edelman Borden, Mary Anne Burlinson, and Elsie R. Kearns (Facts on File, 1995).
What you don’t know about sending your first child to college could fill a library. Luckily, the authors of this guide have whittled it down to one large book of facts and common sense information needed during that first year of college. The authors suggest what to say, when to say it, and how to find the right words for everything from roommate challenges and social life questions to bill-paying issues. The useful insights and tips will help make the transition a smooth one for parents and their students.

Letting Go: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years by Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger (Harper, 2003).
This informative, well-written guide for parents is filled with practical advice and psychological insights. One reviewer called it “better than Valium” for relieving parental anxieties that surface as students prepare for college. There is discussion of how college life has changed over the years along with a year-by-year breakdown of what to expect, including the range of emotions parents may feel after the drop-off has been made.

The Launching Years: Strategies for Parenting from Senior Year to College Life by Laura Kastner and Jennifer Wyatt (Three Rivers Press, 2002).
The Launching Years is a page-turner for parents dealing with that rocky transition from senioritis to freshmen excesses. The approach is two-fold: first the authors address the difficult issues students face, like high school burnout and ambivalence about independence. Secondly, they hold up a mirror to reflect solid parenting suggestions or its evil alter ego, “hyper parenting.” Using humor and creative strategies, they provide options for parents learning to deal with their child from afar and offer suggestions on how best to provide support or freedom in various situations.

Sharon Zoumbaris is a freelance author and school librarian from Virginia Beach, Virginia. She has published several reference books for middle and high school students and is currently at work on a book that will examine controversial issues in nutrition, due out next year.