• Is enrolling my child in extracurricular activities in
addition to school a good thing?
• How many activities are considered too many?
• What do I do if my child doesn’t like the activity even though I know it is good for her?
• How do I choose the best activity for my child when
there are so many different activities available?
The answer to these questions always begins with “it depends.” It
depends on your child’s temperament, any special needs,
available time and financial resources and a whole host of other
factors unique to your child. Before choosing an activity, consider the
following Commitment, Quantity and Quality (CQQ) questions:
Commitment Questions
• What do I want him to learn and why?
• Is he asking for more of one specific activity?
• Is this a “just for fun” activity?
• Am I willing to provide incentives for lessons I want him to learn but he isn’t much interested in (e.g. piano)?
Quantity Questions
• Does he have enough energy at the end of the day for
another activity?
• Is he getting enough quality sleep at night?
• How much am I willing to pay for an activity, and for how long?
• How much time do we have for extracurricular activities?
• How will he get to, and be picked up from, these activities?
Quality Questions
• Are the instructors qualified?
• Is the environment conducive to learning (i.e. clean and organized)?
• Does the activity center have a good neighborhood reputation?
• Do I feel comfortable leaving my child with this professional?
Choosing activities
Once you have honestly answered the CQQ questions, it should be easier to help your child choose an activity. To
show you how to go from questions to answers, here are a few examples of how this is done:
Q: Sara asks, “Should I enroll my son Michael (age five) in
more gymnastic classes?”
CQQ Review: Michael is showing advanced skill in gymnastics
and continues to gravitate to doing more and more
tumbling around the house. He has already taken beginning level
gymnastics, gets his full nine hours of sleep a night, and has no other
activities other than school and Hebrew class once a week. There is a
new gym with reasonably priced gymnastic classes taught by gymnasts who
competed at the collegiate level.
A: Yes, he sounds ready for more gymnastics.
Q: Brian asks, “My daughter Kelly (age 15) is asking to learn the guitar, should I enroll her in guitar lessons?”
CQQ Review: Kelly takes and enjoys piano lessons at her home,
is on the basketball team at school during the winter, and travels
between mom and dad’s home each weekend. She does not appear to be
reaching her full potential at school and often stays up late. There is
a great school nearby that teaches guitar in group classes for
teenagers.
A: No, this is not a good time, but ask Kelly if she would be
willing to switch guitar for piano lessons for a period of time to try
the guitar out. I also suggest using guitar lessons as an incentive to
help Kelly focus on improving her schoolwork prior to signing her up
for lessons.
Q: Jennifer asks, “My son Brandon (age seven) has Asperger
Syndrome and has trouble making friends and being a part of group
activities, should I continue to push to get him into extra group
classes?”
CQQ Review: Brandon excels at schoolwork but doesn’t know how
to include himself in projects or games with his peers. Social skill
advancement is needed and unlikely to develop on its own without some
assistance. Brandon does struggle at first with new tasks but once he
knows the routine he likes to follow the rules.
A: Yes, Brandon needs as much structure as possible to help
him advance socially. I strongly suggest that Brandon learn a martial
art as martial arts training is an individual skillbuilding activity
learned in a social setting. This activity inherently also improves
motor coordination and self-esteem, and staff are usually responsive to
working with children with special needs. Also, some programs may offer
financial assistance if families cannot afford their full fees.
Additional considerations
• Ensure at least one day off per week without a scheduled activity.
Time spent with parents or unscheduled downtime is necessary.
• Never take away an activity as punishment. Remember that you enrolled your son for other reasons, such as skill
building, a break from schoolwork or making friends. If needed, take
away a true “extra” instead—television time, video games or sweets.
• Get to know the instructor. Parents should always introduce
themselves to the instructor and be sure to explain any special needs a
child may have. Remember, instructors want to do good job and will only
be able to do their best job if they have all the necessary information
about your child in mind.
Using these Commitment, Quantity and Quality considerations along
with what you know about your child should help you to make the best
decision for your child and family.
Dr. Julia M. Rahn is a clinical psychologist, speaker, coach, and
founder of Flourish Studios—a multi-faceted learning gallery in
Chicago. Focusing on Positive living, Education, Arts, and Retail
(PEARs) Julia has designed a center that helps families and individuals
live their best lives. Learn more at 773-281-8130 or ICanFlourish.com.