Drs. Beasley,
I have two daughters, a 3 year-old and a 14 year-old and I am going to be home with them this summer. I anticipate that both of them will be active and I would like to plan activities for both of them that engage both ages. Do you have any suggestions? ~ Lydia

Dr. Lori: Isn’t that great? Two of our children are twelve years apart and we can empathize with
your dilemma.

Dr. Stewart: Except that our oldest was a boy and his sister was twelve years and one day younger.

Dr. Lori: We hope you have the same enjoyment we did. Even though there was a wide age difference, developmentally, when our daughter was in the “terrible twos," her brother was in the “terrible fourteens”! Both were full of life, full of energy, and full of themselves. But they adored each other—most of the time. Your three year old is probably taken by her sister and wants to do whatever big sister does. Fortunately, your younger daughter has a brief attention span and a little attention from her older sister will go a long way. If her sister will push her on a swing set or play dolls with her for a short time, that generally will satisfy the three year old.

Dr. Stewart: A trip to the zoo can be enjoyable for both and what a great way to get is some summertime family time. Walking or skating in the park or on a trail around one of our lakes is great fun combining exercise and play. Your three year old may not skate yet but even a walk with her will be enjoyable. A picnic lunch can add to the fun—both in preparing it for the outing as well as enjoying it at the park.

Dr. Lori: Maybe big sister can help little sister play “dress up.” Three year olds love to dress up in mom (or sister’s) clothes, jewelry, and high heels. (Makeup sessions may be an option but will probably require more supervision on your part.) Bike rides for the family are fun and what three year old doesn’t enjoy a ride in mom or dad’s bike seat?

Turn on the radio and have a dance contest between the girls. Dancing is also great exercise and you may want to participate, too! Cooking is a great activity to do together and is productive, too! Make dinner together once a week
or make a special family recipe. This activity teaches your teenager basic selfhelp/survival skills and your younger
daughter will also learn many basic sensory and language skills as she helps measure, stir, or assist in setting the
table.

Dr. Stewart: Don’t forget my favorite summertime activity—swimming. Both girls will probably like the water for
different reasons. Your three-year-old will like to splash and romp in the water while her sister is more likely to enjoy poolside. But if older sister can swim, she may enjoy trying to teach her little sister how to swim. Families differ, but yours may enjoy going to the lake and participating in the many activities offered there.

Dr. Lori: This can be a wonderful time for you and your daughters. Lots of bonding opportunities exist and we have just covered a few. It’s important to remember that each of your daughters will need time with you by herself and each will undoubtedly have many suggestions of what they want to do with their “mom time.” Your older daughter can be a mentor to her younger sister and will likely enjoy the role. She may need a gentle reminder now and then that she is the sister, not the mother.

Dr. Stewart: We hope you have a great Summer 2009 and enjoy your wonderful girls.

Lori Beasley, EdD is Asst. Vice President of Academic Affairs and Professor of Family Life Education at the University of Central Oklahoma. Stewart R. Beasley, PhD is a licensed psychologist who practices in Edmond and Oklahoma City and is Clinical Professor of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences at the University of Oklahoma
College of Medicine.

Do you have a question about early childhood issues for the Beasleys? E-mail it to SRB@DRStewartBeasley.com.