Encourage Your Teen to—
Visualize the goal and think big.
Start with something your teen has expressed a desire to achieve. (No fair if you try to pick a goal for your teen and nag them into reaching it!) Third chair in band? Eagle Scout? A specific college? Does your child complain about a lack of money or having no free time? Help him or her imagine reaching their goal—how will it feel? What’s the reward? Visualizing success is motivating.

Consider the cost and start small.
Most “overnight successes” worked behind the scenes a long time before they were discovered. Be realistic when you and your teen assess different paths towards the goal. I have met more than one teen who wanted to be a famous musician, yet never learned to play an instrument. Don’t discourage your teen, but do help him or her gain information about the daily commitment required.

Set a reward to keep going.
Help your teen identify rewards that will keep the energy flowing over the long haul—stickers won’t cut it here! Consider extra computer time, increased time with friends, a little latitude on other responsibilities for a day or so, etc.

Evaluate their progress.
Offer to meet with your teen to review progress on a weekly basis, at the beginning. Ask questions to help your child figure out if something is consistently getting in the way. For example: they plan time to practice the piano in the mornings, but tend to hit the snooze button instead.

Adjust along the way. Kids’ interests change frequently. How often in your life have you found yourself pursuing something that turned out to be different than you expected? Accept that your young person may have a change of heart along the way. When teens decide to change course, encourage them to explore what they’ve learned about themselves in the process, to set a new goal, and “try, try again.”

A written plan is the best way to make the goal a reality. An excellent, enjoyable book for teens on this topic is The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey. It has a variety of examples and exercises to help young people recognize the importance of integrity in achieving their goals. In general, tweens and teens have a variety of “wants” that fall naturally into a goal-setting learning experience. Try to keep your eyes and ears open for something that is particularly relevant to your child. Consider enlisting support of other adults who could be helpful as “cheerleaders” or mentors throughout the process. Once your teenager experiences success with goal setting—the sky is the limit!

Lisa Marotta is a Clinical/School Psychologist with the Offices of Paul Tobin & Ann Benjamin in Edmond. She enjoys working with children, teens, and their families.