Do
you remember when you were young and had a wonderfully vivid
imagination? The days when you spent hours building forts out of
blankets or pinning barrettes in your dad’s hair while playing barber
shop? It was so much fun to be a kid.
Unfortunately,
not all kids are given the freedom to be so carefree and imaginative.
Some children grow up in homes where they are the main caretakers.
Where they are responsible for making dinner at the age of seven. Or
they are responsible for getting themselves to school.
A Big Problem
It’s
a startling fact, but according to a January 2000 study conducted by
the National Institutes of Health, one out of every four kids in the
U.S. lives in a home suffering from alcohol abuse—that’s 28% of our
child population, or 19 million kids. Sadly, those numbers do not
include children who live with drug abusers.
According
to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia
University, children of alcoholics/addicts (COAs) are almost three
times more likely to be abused “because of being left in unsafe
situations by [an] alcoholic [or] addict.”
Programs Offer Hope
Recently,
Pam Newton, project manager of the Betty Ford 5 Star Kids program in
Dallas, a program that teaches children how to cope with alcoholism and
care for themselves, teamed up with an Oklahoma organization, A Chance
to Change, whose goal is to educate childcare workers about the problem.
Newton
stated, “COAs think it’s a normal way of life—to be drunk all the time.
They feel they’re the only one in the world with their problem because
they don’t talk about it.”
“Children
feel if it happens in front of them, they’re responsible for it,” said
Joe Westerheide, Director of Mental Health Services for Oklahoma City’s
A Chance to Change.
Newton
said COAs’ lives become so engulfed in the addict’s lifestyle that the
“children become separated from their own feeling and know [only] the
addict’s feelings.”
“[COAs]
usually look like the straight-A kids,” Newton said. “The best thing a
person can do, if they suspect a child might be living with an addicted
parent, is to be available to listen. The kids want to hear that
they’re not alone, that what adults do is not their fault, and that
people do care.”
Understanding
that the addiction is not their fault is imperative to the child’s well
being. They also need to know that they’re not alone. According to A
Chance to Change Foundation, it’s critical for COAs to know it’s all
right to talk about their feelings.
If
you suspect a child is living in an addict’s home, there are many
resources you can use to help them. A Chance to Change Foundation helps
children and their families by offering counseling and a variety of
programs.
Important Messages for Children of Alcoholics to Hear
From A Chance to Change and the Betty Ford Center
• Alcoholism is a sickness.
• It’s not your fault.
• You can’t make it better.
• You deserve help for yourself.
• You are not alone.
• There are people and places that can help you.
• There is hope.
Resources for More Help and Information
National Association for Children of Alcoholics,www.NACOA.org, 888-554-COAS.
A Chance to Change: 840-9000, www.AChanceToChange.org.
Betty Ford Center: 800-854-9211.
Jill Allen is
an associate producer for KWTV News. She is also a freelance writer in
Oklahoma City and Edmond and is studying journalism at the University
of Central Oklahoma where she will earn her BA in May.